Friday, 25 May 2012

In which Dan learns to breath underwater.


So as I sit here on the eve of Lucy's 21st birthday, miles apart. My feet cold, my water chilled and my stomach bloated from eating a whole bar of Cadbury's Dream chocolate I ask myself... just how did I get here? o_O
I really should be rigwise, I mean on the Deep Water Frontier about 60km north of Barrow Island. But they sent me back for a few days because... I'm not sure -__ - but I know they might have needed the bed space and I wasn't doing anything there. But my story begins back when I was delivering leaflets, clue theme music for scene change.
It was an overcast day in autumn here in Perth...
It was overcast, but don't think for a moment that it was cold. At this point I still didn't own a jumper or fleece and hadn't worn that or trousers for months and today was no exception. Where I was, was down in North Fremantle, dispute being called 'North' its the most southern place I deliver to, but obviously every north is also a south... cept Antar... anyway lets not get bogged down in that. The area is really cool by the way and the highway there always has massive trucks going by with like 32-36 wheels. The houses are snuggling settled amongst house sized warehouses and old shops which look like houses without doors and you wonder, if only passing there, whether they are any houses there at all but there are and there are actually quite a few. I was delivering over the east side of Stirling highway when I got a phone call. I'd been expecting one... but I'd been expecting one for days and I'd started to think there wasn't going to be one. I had become content with life in the previous few minutes as I was listening to Ross Noble conduct live Cluedo on the hip youth radio station Triple J. I never did find out what happened to that game but his accent definitely carried an odd funniness to it all. I kept thinking of his interview on top gear.
The phone call was from Baker Hughes and he was telling me I'd got the job, this time the comment was more secure as he said he'd emailed a contract through. So I was in the middle of delivering phamphlets and I needed to head back and read this contract, print it off at the library and work out what changes in my life were about to unfold.
I'm sure there were a lot of things happening around this time and I went to get cheesecake because I had gotten a job, something I promised myself. It took a while but I was given instructions to get training for rig work and travelling by helicopter. In order to get there I had to wake up at an early time, but I'd been waking earlier than this anyway for deliveries, I'm such a hard worker me -__ -; Then I had to drive all the way down to Roe highway and head into Jandakot airport. Of course wouldn't you know it my car had started to die nice and slowly. First the indicator broke so that the front left doesn't show and the rear left blinks twice as fast as a result. Then the clutch started to go so you need to be careful under foot or rev it more. In order to cut out all shaking I need to hit 3000 revs which is inefficient engine wise and damaging. Then on the second day it sounded like the windshield was about to crack! But luckily it was the noise being made by the windscreen wipers twitching in the moving wind, because they're broken! But even the car was weak I got down there and back five times. There was a lot of traffic between Leach Highway and Roe Highway where there are roads works, brilliant. Also on Thursday I got stuck in this tough slog heading back and it looked like I was going to drive into the night, not good because me lights are frayed too. I head off the number 2 freeway and headed to the number 8 freeway, that one was gridlocked too, oh deer. I managed to listen to the 'hack' program though and they talked about the mining boom in AUS and how it was affecting the lives of young people working on silly roster away from home and loved ones, everyone hates it basically and they do it for the money, way of the world?
The training consisted of background history about rig dangers and accidents. They talked about Piper Alpha in the North Sea (1987) which exploded, quite simply. A maintenance crew was working on pipe work and weren't finished by the end of their shift. The shift change didn't point out to the gas pump crew what was unfixed and they head on with operations. The pipe they normally used which wasn't been fixed faulted and so they switched to the other one which was being fixed, the weak seal broke and gas spilled out, found an ignition source and the rig exploded as the gas caught fire. Then everyone had two options, jump 30m into the sea or die in the apartment block before the rig burned to a wreck as there were no lifeboats and the evacuation plan was to be airlifted off... which is just silly. The other example was Deep Water Horizon in 2010. When you drill a bore hole into the sea and a gas reserve you case it with metal as you go and then put a blow out preventer on the top so that the gas and oil doesn't come up when you're not producing it. In 2010 this failed in the Gulf of Mexico. The blow out roared up to the rig and exploded killing 11 people, which they don't remind you on the news, only about the spill but one is more major from a systematic point of view.
We were trained about life on a rig and work practises. They covered everything even though not all rigs are like their example. Also of course at training things were more strict than they would be, not in reinforcement of policy but state of mind simply because as humans we're not machines and we'd go insane living like that... I will go into this in more detail later.
We were instructed in leaving a smoke filled room blindfolded, although that wasn't really necessary as you can't see anything as it is. A lot of the people on the course were rough and tumble men, well they were all men but yeah. Some of them had been in the navy and others were young and a bit quiet but that said a lot, they acted like they were above something, but I don't know what that something was. We were asked to mention one work place accident and I had to talk about a woman slipping on salad at Sainsbury's... hmm... didn't match a guy also getting eaten by a shark somehow.
The BOSIET side of things deals with things that happen during helicopter flight. If you don't have this card you can't board a helicopter and for some reason they check this after you get off the plane not before you get on it :/ anyway. We were shown some videos and talked about many things but the thing that takes the cake biggest of all is the part where you get given a breathing apparatus and are put in a pool with a type of faux helicopter set up.
The truth is this question, if a helicopter ditches in the sea what happens? On impact with water the liferafts deploy automatically... but in waves and wind the weight of the engine and propellers is above the cabin... so that thing might tip and you're not jumping out of there while the rotors are still going. So in other words you need to stay seated and strapped in while that thing flips underwater before you push the door out and escape. So.... they gave us this bag thing. What you do is breath a long breath into it... long.... then you breath normally from that. We breath out a lot of oxygen so we can use that for a short while. Of course I've breathed underwater before and so I must tell you that this was the most intense thing I've ever done. I know that when Lucy and Kyenen and me were in Cardiff and we went to the pool it was hard enough for Lucy to dip underwater let alone breath while submerged. So things were scary. I mean your whole body is telling you not to breath because you'll just get a mouthful of water. But once you get your head round that it makes things easier. It would probably be like learning to walk with the vision from either eye switched.
Then we got in this contraption and it dipped us nicely in the 3m of water. We had to remain seated and strapped in until it stopped. So on the first run we had to do it while holding our breath... so yeah.... that didn't frighten me at all. When it stops moving you punch out the window and put one hand on the airframe so that when you release the straps you can easily pull yourself out of there despite being inverted or confused as to where you are, your seat won't move from the window and you're number one job is getting out of that window. So the brown trousers moment comes when you're going down into the water holding your breath and its seems to take forever for the machine to stop. You constantly think about knocking that window open so when it does stop you find that you can't get out of the strap. Seriously... in a pinch like that it really says it all when you can calmly think about why you're not getting free of that seat and unbuckling calmly. Being able to rationally think that the way out is the longer process takes a certain trust in yourself and your surroundings so when you enter somewhere new take stock and know what's going to happen if... I mean this isn't important in most situations, I drove into and emtpy McDonalds now I can't leave boo hoo but there were some things you could have done. Thats the whole point of the oil and gas industry working places, those things happen all the time and the sh** is so close to the fan all the time. Not to worry you loved ones though I'm on an exploration rig not a production one so the chances of a blow out are rare and only for a short period... heck the ruffnecks (rig workers) even smoke outside (under the designated smokeo area though of course).

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